006: The Escalator Metaphor – How to move on from breakups & losses.

Appreciate and let go of the escalator.

 

Is it possible that people might me choosing to stay depressed by choosing not to change their story and state. How can you start owning your mood and what can you do to start making rapid progress towards the mood that you want to have?

 

Bismillah. Alhumdulillah. Wa Salat Al al-Salam wa rasulullah. This is breakthrough coach, Zubair.

 

We will be discussing the feelings of depression, sadness and anxiety today. We will hear some ideas that may make it clear that for many people, depression and anxiety is a self-imposed oppression.

You can access the video series here.

 

Wait.

 

Before you start objecting, we are not saying that this is the case for all, but it is true for a lot of people out there. Nevertheless, we are confident that the ideas we will be sharing in this episode will help everyone In Shaa Allah.

 

The level and the impact and the results will vary from one person to another depending on a variety of factors which include; their existing state, their confidence in the ideas we are sharing and the patience to consistently apply these ideas.

 

Another very important thing to remember is that we are not saying that these ideas are the only things you need to do and quit with everything else. For example, if you are taking medication to treat some of these moods or feelings, we are definitely not encouraging you to quit taking medicine.

 

You may ask then, “hey, if someone is on medication and is managing moods well with medication, how may he benefit from these ideas?”

 

What these ideas will do for him, In Shaa Allah, is prevent the situation from getting worse. It may also help in reducing medical dose and/or side effects under the supervision of trusted doctor.

 

These ideas will also help the ones being tried with the sickness and the loved ones around him to maintain and positive and empowering mindset.

 

If one is not affected by this at all, or have very minimal exposure to it, then these ideas will help be ready for any sort of exposure in the future In Shaa Allah.

 

Let’s take a look at some of the common behavioural patterns associated with change of moods.

 

What are some of the first things we think or do when we start noticing that we are not feeling well. We start noticing a mood change. We start noticing going towards moods that we dont want to experience.

 

  • Do we give up?
  • Do we treat it as “You know what, that’s it. My day is gone. My week is gone?
  • Or do we acknowledge the feeling and are ready to explore what this feeling is telling us?
  • Are we ready to explore and to react in a smart manner?

 

This is very important. As many people may want to run away from it and engage in destructive behaviour.

 

A destructive behaviour is something that will help one temporarily change the way he feels. That would help numb the feelings or put blame on others, but would not address the situation or the underlying core issue.

 

People may engage in consuming substances that are destructive or addictive. Or may engage in watching inappropriate content. Sleeping throughout the day. Staying inside for days, not meeting anyone, not taking care of their responsibilities such as showing up for work etcetera.

 

If you want to really achieve breakthroughs your attitude has to change. We have to acknowledge the situation, observe it, intercept it, and prevent it from becoming worse.

 

Let’s realize what the situation actually is. When we start experiencing mood changes, do we start blaming ourselves, or blaming others, or hating our selves or hating others? Or do we face it with an empowering mindset?

 

What we really have is a situation in which one is not able to feel optimal. He or she has thoughts, feelings or moods that are discouraging him to actions that are beneficial for him. One should consider accepting it as a test, a challenge that will bring goodness. That will bring more strength for everyone affected. One should realize that just having the condition does not mean that one is not good enough, not loved enough by the creator. It is a challenge that the mind and the body is facing. The condition is itself a creation of Allah and there is a reason for the existence of this condition.

 

Consider this; if you had the full authority and control you would perhaps not create this condition for yourself.

 

Or for your loved ones. But that choice would be based on your level of knowledge, your level of experience. But, hey, every act of Allah is based on his complete and perfect wisdom. Complete and perfect justice and mercy.

 

There is wisdom behind what you are currently facing,

 

We may not be able to appreciate it all. Or may appreciate it partially and that is where our faith in Allah comes in. That is where the wisdom of Allah comes in. That is how we show and grow our trust in Allah. That he knows what is best for us. His choices for me are better than my own choices and my own wishes.

 

He knows the level of success, progress, submission and trust of Allah that one can achieve because of this challenge. And how amazing his destination would be when one passes on from this life to the hereafter.

 

So one should have the mindset and attitude of patience and gratitude. Patience seeking the reward and trusting the wisdom of the creator. And gratitude that the situation is not worse than what it is.

 

Because the situation could have been worse.

 

If something tragic or painful happens to use what meaning, what story do we give it?

 

It is extremely important to pay attention to the meaning that we are giving to a situation and the words that we use to describe it.

  • Do we consider it a beginning or and end?
  • Do we consider it to come from the love of Allah or the hate of Allah?

 

When we lose something we can give it a meaning that Allah wants to strengthen us. He wants to give us an opportunity to fix any wrong we have been doing.

 

If we have lost a relationship or a loved one, instead of considering that as an end, why don’t we consider it as something coming from the love and wisdom of Allah? We consider it like someone taking a long escalator, the escalator makes the life easy and raises the person on it.

 

Eventually, one will come to the point where the person has to leave the companionship, the relationship, that contact with the escalator and move on. But when he does that, he has actually reached a higher level and refused to let go and to cry as the escalator comes to an end. He will trip or fall and will cause the people behind him to fall as well. The wise one would appreciate the ride, the connection, the growth, that he received from the escalator and move on with the journey.

 

This is how some people, come connections, some jobs, some opportunities, play a role in our life. They raise us, give us an experience, they uplift us, but at some time we have to let go.

 

We will leave you with these ideas on mindset and how you approach mood changes.

 

In the next episodes, we’ll be dealing with the same topic from different angles.

 

Until next time…

 

Subhaanaka Allaahumma wa bihamdika, ‘ash-hadu ‘an laa ‘ilaaha ‘illaa ‘Anta, ‘astaghfiruka wa ‘atoobu ‘ilayka

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To check out previous episodes visit Breakthrough Podcast

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